ना फ़ना मेरी न बका मेरी
Dear Friend,
You asked me some time ago about improving and deepening the quality of gratitude in your life. I’m sorry I did not respond sooner — I find forgetfulness increases with age.
Gratitude (कृतज्ञता) is a quality that distinguishes a human from other animals, though some domesticated animals can show gratitude to their masters. Dada ji Pandurang Shashtri used to say that to be a “मानव” one must be कृतज्ञ.
Gratitude can be directed to the Creator or the God one believes in. Even an atheist will usually acknowledge some external energy or reality responsible for existence; that too can be a focus of gratefulness. Beyond that there is gratitude to parents, family, society, friends, nation and to the world — in short, to everyone who contributes to our being.
How do we recognize that someone is grateful? By their thoughts, speech and actions — मनसा, वाचा, कर्मणा. And how do I know that I am grateful? Largely by the absence of excessive ego (अहंकार).
At the same time, a certain healthy ego is necessary to survive in a world that can be harsh; without any self-regard one risks being trampled and achieving nothing. So the aim should be to act beyond the self — not only for “me,” but for others as well.
Selflessness guided by a higher purpose is central to gratitude. A person who is selfless and oriented toward a larger purpose is, in effect, a truly grateful person.
On a lighter note, let me end with a quote from a ghazal by Shakeel Badayuni.
When I first heard it — in a YouTube recording by a famous qawwali singer from Pakistan — I was very impressed. I listened several times and noted down the words.
Today, while writing to you, I remembered those in my notes and am sharing them.
The singer began by reciting these lines by Shakeel Badayuni:
ना फ़ना मेरी ,ना बका मेरी
मुझे ए शक़ील ना ढूंढिए
मैं किसी का हुस्न-ए-खयाल हूं
मेरा कुछ वजूद-ओ-अदम नहीं।
— शकील बदायूँनी
I take फना to mean that which is destroyed (annihilation) and बक़ा to mean that which survives. हुस्न-ए-खयाल suggests the beauty of a thought or imagination, and वजूद-ओ-अदम refers to being and non-being (होना या न होना). Very powerful thought indeed.
Then he sang the following song. The singer attributed it to Sant Kabir, though I am not certain of the source. The deeper meaning, however, resonates with Kabir’s teachings as well as Sufi and Vedantic thought:
वही ज़िंदगी वही मरहले वही कारवाँ वही रास्ते
मगर अपने अपने मक़ाम पर कभी तुम नहीं कभी हम नहीं
फ़ना कैसी बका कैसी जब उसके आशना ठहरे
कभी उस घर में आ बैठे कभी इस घर में आ बैठे
आऊँगा ना जाऊँगा न मरूँगा जियूँगा
मौत आख़िर तुझे फ़क़ीरों से क्या लेना
मरने से पहले ये रोज़ मरा करते हैं
आऊँगा ना जाऊँगा न मरूँगा न जियूँगा
गुरू के शबद प्याला हर रोज़ पियूँगा
कोई जाये मक्के तो कोई जाये काशी
देखो ऐ बाबा गले की ये फाँसी
क़हत कबीर सुनो मेरी बोली
हम ना किसी के हमरा न कोई
हम जो मरेंगे तो रोना ना कोई
The verses speak of impermanence, non-attachment, the unity beyond apparent differences, and the guru’s guiding words — themes that echo across mystical and philosophical traditions.
Wishing you and all yours the very best,
Shailendra
PS: I found YouTube of recital by Maulvi Haider Hassan that I mentioned in the blog. A link is given below.
