Stories and anecdotes that bring out wit and humour

We all remember “Guest Programmes” an important activity of at the National Dairy Development Board, Anand.

Guest Programmes were designed to expose and brief the guests about the genesis, mandate, programmes and activities of the Dairy Board as well as that of Anand Pattern Milk Cooperatives.

One of the most important part of a guest programme was taking guests to show the working of a village level milk cooperative society near Anand and to explain to them the working of the milk producers cooperative. NDDB guests were usually accompanied by an officer from the Farmer’s Organisation and Animal Husbandry ( FO and AH) or from Manpower Development Group as they were considered “experts” in field activities.

After completion of the visit the concerned officer was required to brief Dr. Kurien about the visit.

The following two stories contributed by Arun Wayangankar make one smile and wonder whether such details of such questions and answers ever found a mention while briefing Dr Kurien.

NDDB Officer accompanying a guest had to answer many questions that the visitors asked. At times they faced a question answer to which he couldn’t provide quickly and took resort to a street smart answer. This ability to think in the moment and on the feet helped them in field as well.

A sanskrit word Pratiuttapannmati (प्रतिउत्पन्नमति) describes this quality very well.

Correct answer which the accompanying officer ought to have given to the visitor in reply to each question but forgot in the moment while answering is given at the end of each story.


Division of a Buffalo

My colleague and I accompanied a Sri Lankan guest to a village near Anand to observe operations of a milk producers cooperative society. As per our standard practice, my colleague explained the milk collection, payment, cattle feed distribution process and artificial insemination services etc. that a village milk producers cooperative society undertakes. He also explained in some detail the bye laws of dairy cooperatives. He said that membership of a village level milk producers cooperative society is open to all milk producers residing in the village. However, a person desirous of becoming a member of the society should possess at least one milch animal (cow or buffalo).

After the discussions, the guest wanted  to visit  a milk producer members home. The guest  was then taken  to one such house.

The guest inquired from the farmer as to how many milch animals he had. The farmer said  that he had only  one buffalo.

The guest further probed;

 “Who is the member of the society?”

The farmer replied;

 “My wife and  I”

The guest then asked  my colleague “You told me that a member must own at least one  milch animal in order to become a member. In this household  there is only one buffalo. How come both husband and wife are  members of the cooperative?”

My colleague was taken aback and thought for a few moments  and then came out with a “brilliantly  novel” answer.

” Simple Sir, The husband owns the front portion  of the buffalo and the wife the back portion”.

The guest was flabbergasted and  left pondering over the answer.

Fact: A village milk producers cooperative society allows husband and wife both to become member of the society even if the family owns only one milch animal. Part of the milk supplied by the family is shown in the name of husband and the remainder in the name of his wife.


“PLAGUE” in Gujarat village

A guest from The world Bank was on a visit to Anand. I I  accompanied my senior colleague on a visit to a milk producers cooperative. As usual the guest undertook a tour of the society and saw for himself how the cooperative functions at the village level.

My colleague explained the working of milk producers cooperative. We then sat in the office of the d cooperative. My colleague had a  pamphlet (in English) describing  progress of the village  milk producers society. He explained to the guest with the statistics given in the pamphlet as to  how the cooperative has improved its performance over the years. He explained that due to excellent working the cooperative membership has increased every year and so has the milk procurement and the business of the society.

The guest from World Bank studied the pamphlet and asked;

 “You say that the membership has been increasing every year.”

 He pointed out at  the statistics given in the pamphlet and then said;

 “ Look during this  year membership has reduced by about 200.”

What could  the reason for the decline in the membership during that year?

My colleague  without batting an eye lid replied “Oh that year 200 members died”.

The World  Bank officer was stunned & exclaimed “Looks like Plague struck this village”

The fact: During that particular year the membership of nominal members (who were given membership of dairy cooperative for building up Share Capital in the initial years) was discontinued

Contributed by Arun Wayangankar; NDDB 1977-2007

Hope

If there is one good man it will rain

It was third week of August and still no signs of any rain. Cowherds were on the move taking their herd from Saurashtra and North  Gujarat through Kheda to South Gujarat in search of feed and fodder. Trains were bringing in dry fodder from Punjab. Milk was in abundance at all the plants. 

NDDB and Technology Mission on Oilseeds were working to make India self reliant and Gujarat / Saurashtra were the focus of the project. Grofed was going great guns but the performance this year was poor. Grofed was planning to seed the clouds in the hope that it can make it rain in our project areas.

During the discussions it came up and Dr Kurien exclaimed , the Lord had said

“If there is one good man, it will rain.”

1987 Contributed by a former NDDB Employee who 
wishes to remain anonymous

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